Battling Postpartum Shedding w/Creme of Nature + manageable tips

After Harper was born, I decided to get a jump start on taking better care of my hair before the postpartum shedding would make their debut. Although I know nothing can stop postpartum shedding, I can do what I can on my end to make my hair more manageable and to possibly retain as much health and length as possible. After all, I didn’t know how PPS would take my hair out or if my hair would come out at all.

I stumbled on some products from the Creme of Nature Argan Oil from Morocco line, the Plex Breakage Defense. One thing that caught my attention was that this line helps reduce damage and breakage , reinforces weak bonds and helps fill in fragile strands. With me being anemic as well, I thought this would be a great way to be proactive. My pregnancy treated my hair so well and I wanted to keep that up with healthy eating and proper hair maintenance. I started using this product back in March and have been using it ever since. I also bought this entire set, 3 times.

The line contains 3 products: Step 1: The Bond Mender Pre-Treatment, Step 2: The Restoring Shampoo and Step 3: The Restoring Conditioner. I use the bond mender right after the detangling process either on dry or wet hair, depending on the state of my hair. After about 20 minutes, I rinse, and proceed with shampoo and conditioner. One thing about the shampoo is that it is very clarifying despite the organ and castor oil, almost stripping my hair. However, the conditioner adds plenty moisture back in my strands. One thing that I noticed with this product is how I experience less shedding and more length retention in my hair.

Results

Top: March 2020; Bottom: August 2020

When I was pregnant last year, I noticed a little breakage and limped strands so I decided to cut my hair to the healthiest point to give myself a fresh start since I was not too far away from the 2nd trimester.

Any other Tips, You Say?

Remember, postpartum shedding is inevitable and you can’t control it. Some have it worse than others. I’ve been blessed to see minor breakages on my edges and a little thinning. Not only that, my body waited almost a year to see the shedding. Here are a few things I did:

Leave my hair alone. //We’ve been in a pandemic all year and I’ve been working from home, so one of my favorite things to do was after I washed my hair, I blew it out lightly flat ironed it

Protein Treatments// Most people only do these twice a year, but I say, do it when needed. For me, when my hair is too soft and shedding too much even after a trim, it is time. My favorite product is the Aphogee Treatment. Their entire line is superb. Stay tune for a demonstration.

Protective Styling// I always talk about protective styling and my favorite are braids. When done correctly, it can help with the growth of your hair. Now that my edges are broken off a little, I focus more on jumbo box braids.

Take vitamins/supplements and drink plenty of water// Taking vitamins or supplements are really hard for me because I forget, but I’ve seen great results when I do, especially when I add plenty of water.

So far, with these tips I’ve been using, my hair has been flourishing nicely. My plan is to continue these tips and we will come back with an update.

How did you do with your postpartum shedding?

Chapter 34…Bloom

If I could title this next chapter of my life, I would definitely name it Bloom. It totally fits. For the past few years, I was just a small, tiny seed, trying to find my place in the world. Lost, needing a specific type of guidance to navigate this thing called life.

Around, 25 years old, God decided to step in and take charge, to work on me from the inside. He planted me in a place where He knew I hated. He would just talk to me. Sometimes I listened. Other times, I just let it go in one ear and out the other. But the whole time, His words became the soil I needed to grow. When my husband came into my life when I was 27, he became the water that helped God continue to make me grow. They became the friends I needed at the time and the more our relationship cultivated, the more I grew. God also allowed me to grow my relationship with others that I still rely on to this day. I grew and I grew…and then His light shined on me. Here I am, 7 years later…a flower that is ready to Bloom.

I could probably go into detail, because this wasn’t an easy process. I was dug up, pricked and pruned, surrounded by weeds and sometimes I had to go back into the ground, starting the process over. Then God would still water me, add more soil if needed.

I got to know me. What I like, what I don’t like. How I wanted to be treated and addressed. I can recognize toxicity real quick and immediately rebuke it. I’m learning to find my voice and speak up. Because let’s face it: my voice and feelings matter. Never let anyone tell you different. I know what makes me happy and I know what brings me joy. 7 years is a long time and I’m still going. The point is to keep evolving. I evolved so well I became a wife and mother, two things I never looked for or thought I’d have. But that’s what God does. He gives you what you need to be better. In your case, it may not be these things, but He will guide you to your purpose.

So, here I am at 34. With confidence I never knew I had. Back with strength I didn’t think I’d  obtain and a purpose ready to fulfill. Ready. To. Bloom.

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2020: Manifesting the Vision

Happy 2020 y’all! Now that the holidays are over and done with, its time to get down to the nitty gritty. It is time to decide what kind of year we want to have. Bringing in the new year gives you a chance to start fresh. Some people see it as a way to invite something new into their lives, a chance to be great. Its been a challenging last few years for my husband and I. We spent that time doing a lot of sowing and building a foundation. We were wronged on so many levels, were disappointed by a lot of people, struggled, but managed to come out on top. We celebrated our first year of marriage and welcomed our baby girl into our lives! We spent time cultivating our marriage and other friendships as well.

This year, we decided that we wanted to manifest everything we sowed in the last few years. A year of manifesting the vision that we prayed for. A year of “multiplied blessings.” We believe that this year is only the beginning for us and everything we prayed for will come to pass.

This year, we’re being very specific about what we want, but allowing God to still work His will, because let’s face it, He can do more that we ask or think. We’re spending the first few weeks of this month creating our vision boards, writing out our goals specifically (there’s that word again), praying over them as much as we can (because God never gets tired of hearing from us). He’s waiting on us to get serious and be truthful and concise about what we want because He can do it and then some.

Every year, our church has a “theme” for the new year and ours is 2020: Our Year of Multiplied Blessings. When I walked into church and saw this, I felt my spirit shift in excitement because it goes hand in hand with how my husband and I wanted our year to go. If you need a theme, feel free to take this, especially if you’re looking for God to truly bless your life this year.

After you’ve created your boards, and wrote everything down, believe that it is already done and that God has made a way for you.

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepare for then that love him.”

1 Corinthians 2:9

Happy 2020 guys. I can’t wait to see what God Does for you.

Follow me on IG here to share your amazing adventure!

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Dress: Lane Bryant/ Get it here

 

Forgiveness is Not For Them…it’s For You.

“I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry, and accept an apology I never received.”

Or may possibly never get.

I saw this quote on social media after giving birth and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

In the last two years, I’ve seen the true colors of so many people and the lengths they would go to provoke negative reactions and in turn play victim. I’ve seen what a slight disagreement would do to people who you thought were your friends. I’ve seen people hate on you, so green with envy, you would think they were the real Bruce Banner. People would go above and beyond to paint a picture of you, that’s not you at all, and in turn, pit people against you. This is what hate will do. One person’s hatred towards you can cause others to hate you as well, or at least make up in their mind that they won’t even give you a chance.

I never understood why people never wanted to hear all sides to a story, rather than just the one; especially when the one was flawed. I never understood how, a person who knew the entire story, would still act like they didn’t, and in turn never stand up for you. Imagine this happening to you for years. After awhile, you start to think, maybe it is you. You’re the problem. But that’s what the enemy would do. The enemy would make you feel like that to isolate you and make you feel alone. I constantly had to talk to my husband, my best friend, my brother, my sister-in-law, and cousin to make sure I wasn’t crazy. They would tell me the truth because that’s what I expected. Tell me if it’s me and I can improve. I became paranoid because I thought I was the problem, but it turned out that people hate when you stand up for yourself. When you won’t take toxic behavior no matter who the person is.

I struggled with forgiveness, especially when my daughter was born. I never understood why God wanted me to forgive when I was the one who was wronged. When I felt like I was being made a fool. Why do you want me to forgive when the people who hurt me, never said they were sorry or even acknowledged that my feelings were hurt? I’m human too. I have feelings. And if I forgive them, wouldn’t that make me look stupid? Like, they one up me? Lord, I know if I hurt someone’s feelings and I knew I did, I would apologize and make it right. So why can’t people do that for me?

But then I learned, that, forgiveness is not for those who hurt you. Forgiveness is for yourself. Why, do you ask? Because the one who is wronged, is always holding grudges. They are bitter, and upset. This was me. When you can’t forgive those who wronged you, how can you expect God to forgive you? How can you expect to reap the blessings that God has? So here I was, holding my beautiful daughter listening to God tell me that the forgiveness he wanted me to do, was for me. It was so I can move on. It was so I can experience the blessings that God was ready to give me. It was to show that the God that people talk about and claim that they know, lives in me.

“You might be the only Jesus that some people see.” Jesus is all about love, forgiveness, and grace and because we are all striving to be Christ-like, it is important to start practicing what we preach or go to church every Sunday for.

“So, honey, if I forgive them…do I have to say it to their face? This is the question I asked my husband. He then reminded me that forgiveness is not for them. So I didn’t have to. It was for me and between me and God. When I forgive, I must show in my actions. So I pondered a few more weeks because, I’m a Capricorn and I’m stubborn.

But then I did it. I let it all go. I gave it to God. And it felt great. I want my blessings. I want to move on. I have a whole daughter now. My job is to teach her about giving grace, compassion and forgiveness. I will also teach her that is is also okay to guard your heart and never put yourself in a position to be treated a certain way again.

So if you’re struggling with forgiving, remember, it is not for them. The Bible says “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord (Romans 12:19, KJV), so it’s not our job to get back at those who wrong us and believe me, I wanted to. Our job is to let go and give it to God. Let him handle our heavy load because he can do it better than we can. And when you do, life will get better. Trust.

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Outfit details: Sweater Dress: Eloquii, Belt: Lane Bryant, Boots: Torrid

Annoying Remarks During My Natural Hair Journey

“What did you put on your hair to make it look like that?”

If you’ve been natural for a while, I’m sure you had plenty people coming to you barking questions and comments that supposedly mean well, but can really sound rude and disrespectful, right? I’ve had my fair share of comments and questions so I thought I’d share my experience with you and have a little laugh.

When I first decided to go natural, it wasn’t a huge thing like it is today. I made the transition in 2009 and big chop my hair 6 months after transitioning. It wasn’t easy to decide to stop using chemicals and embrace your natural texture back then. You would think the people that looked like you would be supportive. But they were the worse. I’ve heard comments from people that sound like this:

“So…….you’re not getting a relaxer anymore? You do know your hair will just get nappier.”

“Why would you do that?” ” You should comb your hair. I don’t like your hair like that. Its too peasy.”

I would get strange stares ranging from confusion and disgust and I would get the Macy Gray reference remark. Then I would get these passive aggressive remarks like…

“ohhhh your hair cute or whatever. It fits you.” “You don’t have that n***a-nappy hair.”  Or I would get “Well you mixed, so you got that good people hair.” Then my favorites…

“Oh I didn’t expect your hair to be this soft. It feels like a pillow. Wow, your hair smells good. I wasn’t expecting it to smell like flowers.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

“Comb your hair!”

How rude is that? The sad thing is, is all these comments came from family members or so called friends. Am I the only one that went through this?

When your hair is flourishing beautifully and now they wanna go natural.

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I can’t stand this part with a passion. So I went through all phases of deciding to go natural. I went through the horrible TWA phase (when I didn’t know how to style short hair), then I went through the awkward length stage, and the dry phase when I couldn’t keep my hair moisturized. When I got better at taking care of my hair, it started to flourish! Then you would hear comments like these…

“Your hair look good. I’m glad you grew out of that awkward stage. But why does your hair stand up? Why won’t it lay down?”

What do you put on your hair to make it look like that? What kind of products do you use? Can you recommend anything for my hair? I’m trying to go natural.”

“I need help with my hair. Can you help me?”

“How much do you spend on products?”

When you color your hair….

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You’re not natural anymore! Natural is when you don’t put anything in your hair! No chemicals.” Girl, shampoo is chemical, shut up.

“You do realize that your hair is going to fall out.”

“If you bleached your hair, you aren’t natural anymore.”

I think they missed the definition of “going natural.” It means to go back to your original hair texture. You know, the texture that grows out of your scalp? Okay.

Then I would get….

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I wish I could go natural, but I’m scared. My hair won’t look like yours. My hair too peasy. “I don’t think I could cut all my hair off like you did. I’m not that bold.”

“Can I touch your hair? (you politely decline) “Why can’t I touch it? You have a problem with people touching your hair? Why you gotta act like that? Its just hair, it ain’t all that. You’re not the only one that got natural hair.”

“She think she all that because her hair long and curly.”

“Now that your hair looks longer are you going to put a relaxer in it? Will you blow it out to see how long it really is?” (You tell them you’re never getting a relaxer and you have no plans to straighten i anytime soon just to satisfy their curiosity) “So you’re not going to straighten it?”

I’m sure you’ve experienced more than I did or even worse than me, but the one thing that I loved about myself throughout this entire journey since 2009, is that I stayed true to myself and I didn’t let anyone affect me because I knew that one day, I would see them trying to do what I did years ago and you know what? THEY DID! How bout that?

Although I’m glad that we are finally embracing our natural hair, but if you were ever one of those (points above to the comments I wrote earlier), shame on you. God made us beautiful and our hair beautiful. Those comments gave me so much confidence and I was feeling myself even on bad hair days! Let’s talk about it! What’s your favorite/worse comment you endured whilst being natural?

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