Annoying Remarks During My Natural Hair Journey

“What did you put on your hair to make it look like that?”

If you’ve been natural for a while, I’m sure you had plenty people coming to you barking questions and comments that supposedly mean well, but can really sound rude and disrespectful, right? I’ve had my fair share of comments and questions so I thought I’d share my experience with you and have a little laugh.

When I first decided to go natural, it wasn’t a huge thing like it is today. I made the transition in 2009 and big chop my hair 6 months after transitioning. It wasn’t easy to decide to stop using chemicals and embrace your natural texture back then. You would think the people that looked like you would be supportive. But they were the worse. I’ve heard comments from people that sound like this:

“So…….you’re not getting a relaxer anymore? You do know your hair will just get nappier.”

“Why would you do that?” ” You should comb your hair. I don’t like your hair like that. Its too peasy.”

I would get strange stares ranging from confusion and disgust and I would get the Macy Gray reference remark. Then I would get these passive aggressive remarks like…

“ohhhh your hair cute or whatever. It fits you.” “You don’t have that n***a-nappy hair.”  Or I would get “Well you mixed, so you got that good people hair.” Then my favorites…

“Oh I didn’t expect your hair to be this soft. It feels like a pillow. Wow, your hair smells good. I wasn’t expecting it to smell like flowers.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

“Comb your hair!”

How rude is that? The sad thing is, is all these comments came from family members or so called friends. Am I the only one that went through this?

When your hair is flourishing beautifully and now they wanna go natural.

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I can’t stand this part with a passion. So I went through all phases of deciding to go natural. I went through the horrible TWA phase (when I didn’t know how to style short hair), then I went through the awkward length stage, and the dry phase when I couldn’t keep my hair moisturized. When I got better at taking care of my hair, it started to flourish! Then you would hear comments like these…

“Your hair look good. I’m glad you grew out of that awkward stage. But why does your hair stand up? Why won’t it lay down?”

What do you put on your hair to make it look like that? What kind of products do you use? Can you recommend anything for my hair? I’m trying to go natural.”

“I need help with my hair. Can you help me?”

“How much do you spend on products?”

When you color your hair….

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You’re not natural anymore! Natural is when you don’t put anything in your hair! No chemicals.” Girl, shampoo is chemical, shut up.

“You do realize that your hair is going to fall out.”

“If you bleached your hair, you aren’t natural anymore.”

I think they missed the definition of “going natural.” It means to go back to your original hair texture. You know, the texture that grows out of your scalp? Okay.

Then I would get….

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I wish I could go natural, but I’m scared. My hair won’t look like yours. My hair too peasy. “I don’t think I could cut all my hair off like you did. I’m not that bold.”

“Can I touch your hair? (you politely decline) “Why can’t I touch it? You have a problem with people touching your hair? Why you gotta act like that? Its just hair, it ain’t all that. You’re not the only one that got natural hair.”

“She think she all that because her hair long and curly.”

“Now that your hair looks longer are you going to put a relaxer in it? Will you blow it out to see how long it really is?” (You tell them you’re never getting a relaxer and you have no plans to straighten i anytime soon just to satisfy their curiosity) “So you’re not going to straighten it?”

I’m sure you’ve experienced more than I did or even worse than me, but the one thing that I loved about myself throughout this entire journey since 2009, is that I stayed true to myself and I didn’t let anyone affect me because I knew that one day, I would see them trying to do what I did years ago and you know what? THEY DID! How bout that?

Although I’m glad that we are finally embracing our natural hair, but if you were ever one of those (points above to the comments I wrote earlier), shame on you. God made us beautiful and our hair beautiful. Those comments gave me so much confidence and I was feeling myself even on bad hair days! Let’s talk about it! What’s your favorite/worse comment you endured whilst being natural?

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Much Needed Trim

Spring is coming! Thought I’d share that real quick! For the last few weeks, when I’ve been washing and styling my hair, my hair was shedding and knotting so bad that I didn’t want to do anything to my hair. My braid outs didn’t last, and my flat twists would knot when I try to unravel them. It was unsettling. Then, it hit me. Girl, you need a TRIM! And I’m not talking, clip here and there, I mean go in your hair, section it if you need to and take those scissors and investigate! Then, you need a protein treatment too (but we’ll get into that in another post)! This past Monday, I woke up super early (we had an appointment to meet with our caterer!) and went straight to my bathroom and started prepping for a much needed trim.

I must say, I am in no way a professional, I just watched a plethora of videos on deva-cut styling! LOL! Well, I did. I really did. I learned, its best to dry cut in my natural state and to only snip the ends, or where it needs to be snipped.

I decided to section my hair and start in the back, pulling my curls to see how they fall and to snip the scraggly ends off, making sure I even it as much as possible. By the way, if you’re doing this by yourself, this is not a rat race. TAKE. YOUR. TIME. I was able to snip away the dead ends, probably only cutting a half an inch. Take a lot at how much I cut below.

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I was amazed at how much I snipped and was able to keep my length, by just shaping my fro. I was able to maintain a cute shape and there was no shedding during my next styling! I promise to record my next trim!

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Are you due for a trim?

Curly Up-Do with Jane Carters Solution!

This year I plan to experiment more with my hair to see how creative I can get with heat free hair styles. Our curly hair responds very well to perm rods (if achieved correctly), so I decided to do one with a new product that I picked up from Target.

Note to self: NEVER let your natural hair arsenal get low. Things will add up.

I wanted to try a few new moisturizers for my hair and I of course gravitated towards the Jane Carter’s Solution Curls to Go! Curl Cocktail Conditioning Cream. My overall opinion of the product: I can’t wait to get my hands on the rest of the line. For my hair, 90% of the time, if the deep conditioner or the moisturizer works well on my hair, then the rest of the line will (FINGERS CROSSED).

This product is very hydrating and I feel like it will do well in a twist out or a braid out. My curls felt soft and bouncy and I like how this product can be used on its own, meaning that you don’t have to cocktail it to make it effective. This product does not leave a white cast or flaky residue and has a creamy consistency, with a floral, fresh smell.

One thing I will mention, is if you’re looking for a longer lasting style, you will need a holding product.

Styling Process

Take a look at my first Youtube video of the year to see how I created his lovely curly updo using old hair! Please comment and subscribe! I would appreciate it!

 

 

Natural Hair: Big Curly Hair on Day 1-2

As a fellow natural, I think it’s safe to say that majority of us like big hair with lots of volume, right? No shade to the pixi cut gals, because I’ll rock a short cut in a minute, big head and all! Since I’m on a journey to long, thick, beautiful healthy hair, I love to wear my hair big. It goes with my head shape, lol. Sometimes, after wash day, when you unravel those fresh twists or braids, your hair is looking kinda flat. Even though you fluff the roots and separate until there’s no tomorrow, its still not big enough. As time progress and your twist out gets a little older, your hair gets a little bigger. Sometimes I can’t wait until day 3 or 4; I want this on day 1 or 2. So let’s try it! Here are a few tips that you can try to get these results!

Make sure you use a great styling product that yields great definition. My favorite product to use right now alone is the Cantu Curl Activator Cream. It has a thick consistency and I can use this on its own. I wait until my hair is about 75% dry, after I worked my leave-in conditioner in.

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Do medium size braids or twists. The smaller, the more definition. Make sure to twist or braid a little tighter than normal, but now to where it is difficult to unravel. Also, make sure the ends are saturated with product and that the ends are coiled to perfection!  Adding rods to the ends help too.

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Leave the twist/braid in for a day. You can skip this step, but if you’re not doing anything the next day, or you don’t have any events worth showing your amazing curls, don’t unravel them. I did my hair on Friday and on Saturday, I went to work with the twists in, not caring, because there’s only like 10 people in the building. Who ‘gon check me?

Unravel the twist and separate a couple times. When I took my twists down, the definition came through like BAM! This product had my hair moisturized to the Gawds! Not only that, the definition was real. Who knew this one product could do that alone? Normally, I have to cocktail stuff or use another product. After unraveling the twists, the definition was there and the curls were on point.

Separate your hair in 4 quadrants and grab your pick or a wide tooth comb. I used my wide tooth comb for a better grip. After sectioning, I started to comb out my curls, but making sure that I stop about an inch down. The key is to NOT comb the curls all the way out. By leaving the coiled ends in tact, this is help with keeping the ends in tact, plus less worries about breakage. Take your time on this part! There’s no rush. I ran the comb through my hair a couple times, still making sure I kept definition. Minimal frizz is okay, after all, day 3-4 hair has a little frizz.

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Big, voluminous hair!

 

 

Thanks for Reading!

 

 

Natural Hair Length Check +Goals

It seems so long ago when I chopped my hair off,  but it was slightly a year ago. Within that time, I’ve managed to grow my hair to my shoulders. I went from using a blow dryer to blow out my hair twice a week, to only 3 times in 2017. When I did use the dryer, I kept it on cool air, which my hair loved. My curls have flourished and grown beautifully.

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Freshly washed hair, no product
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Passed my chin!

My main goal is to rid my hair of the last bits of color on the ends because those strands are a little iffy.  By April, my wedding month, I’m aiming for my shorter layers to all catch up to the longest length. I’ve been binge watching YouTube videos on Deva cuts, so once it grows out a little more, I plan to indulge in the Devachaun experience, including adding some color!