My First Mother’s Day

Harper is almost 8 months and Mother’s Day has passed, but I’m glad I got this post out. Happy Mother’s Day to all your amazing mothers, I hope it was a blessed one. Happy Reading!

Wow. I never thought I’d see the day where I would become someone’s mother. It seems like it was just yesterday I was showing my husband the positive pregnancy test the day before Valentine’s Day. Here we are, with this little beautiful human being that I get to call my very own.

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She’s only 7 months, but she is the happiest baby I’ve seen in such a long time. She’s always smiling, no matter what time of day it is. She marches to the beat of her own drum. She’s on her own development timeline. One thing I learned early on, is to not compare her to any other baby or anyone else’s parental styles. She says “mama” so effortlessly and says “da-da” whenever she wants, not when you say. She’s crawling. Everywhere. Standing up on anything she can. She doesn’t like to be alone and she must be near mommy and daddy.  Sometimes, she’s in her own world and my husband and I will just look at her and say, “that little human is ours. She’s not going back to anyone. She’s here to stay. Our arms is where she likes to cuddle in.” I find myself looking at her older pictures (which I have coordinated by month) and just sit here in amazement that not long ago, I gave birth to a whole human.

I thought we had enough to time to baby proof our home but I blinked and she’s everywhere. My husband and I had so many plans to travel with her, show her what the world has to offer, but things have altered a little due to COVID-19, something that we will have to tell her years from now. Which reminds me; there are so many things that I have to teach her. I am her foundation in how she will navigate this world. Mother’s Day made me realize that I have a lot of work ahead of me.

To my Baby girl:

I knew you were coming. I dreamt of you during a time where being a mom was nonexistent. I never thought I would experience it because I didn’t think I’d be a good mother. You know, I didn’t have the best role model when it came to emulating a mother I aspired to be. Sadly, I don’t have those fairytale mother/daughter stories.

And then your dad and I found out we were having you. The anxiety! The expectations! I spent the next 9 months analyzing what kind of mother I wanted to be for you. You deserve those fairytale mother/daughter moments. You deserve my endless support as your mother. You deserve my guidance and friendship, and most importantly, my respect. You’re only 7 months but I call you the cutest baby everyday and will later translate to beautiful young lady, then young woman, as you get older.

I can’t wait for our girl talks, trips, outings, disagreements, you questioning my reasonings, conspiring with your dad to give us his credit card to go shopping and so much more. Our relationship will have challenges but it will be beautiful. I can’t wait to be the mom to you that I needed as a little girl. One of my main prayers is to be the most exceptional mother that God wants me to be.  I will lovingly embarrass you, vouch for you, brag on you, and be your biggest cheerleader. Do you like those homemade signs people make? Expect one at every graduation! And trust me when I say I have pictures of you for everything! Your father and I will do whatever we humanly can to provide you the life you deserve and where we lack, God will make up for it.

All My Love,

Mommy

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