“What did you put on your hair to make it look like that?”
If you’ve been natural for a while, I’m sure you had plenty people coming to you barking questions and comments that supposedly mean well, but can really sound rude and disrespectful, right? I’ve had my fair share of comments and questions so I thought I’d share my experience with you and have a little laugh.
When I first decided to go natural, it wasn’t a huge thing like it is today. I made the transition in 2009 and big chop my hair 6 months after transitioning. It wasn’t easy to decide to stop using chemicals and embrace your natural texture back then. You would think the people that looked like you would be supportive. But they were the worse. I’ve heard comments from people that sound like this:
“So…….you’re not getting a relaxer anymore? You do know your hair will just get nappier.”
“Why would you do that?” ” You should comb your hair. I don’t like your hair like that. Its too peasy.”
I would get strange stares ranging from confusion and disgust and I would get the Macy Gray reference remark. Then I would get these passive aggressive remarks like…
“ohhhh your hair cute or whatever. It fits you.” “You don’t have that n***a-nappy hair.” Or I would get “Well you mixed, so you got that good people hair.” Then my favorites…
“Oh I didn’t expect your hair to be this soft. It feels like a pillow. Wow, your hair smells good. I wasn’t expecting it to smell like flowers.”
“What’s wrong with your hair?”
“Comb your hair!”
How rude is that? The sad thing is, is all these comments came from family members or so called friends. Am I the only one that went through this?
When your hair is flourishing beautifully and now they wanna go natural.
I can’t stand this part with a passion. So I went through all phases of deciding to go natural. I went through the horrible TWA phase (when I didn’t know how to style short hair), then I went through the awkward length stage, and the dry phase when I couldn’t keep my hair moisturized. When I got better at taking care of my hair, it started to flourish! Then you would hear comments like these…
“Your hair look good. I’m glad you grew out of that awkward stage. But why does your hair stand up? Why won’t it lay down?”
What do you put on your hair to make it look like that? What kind of products do you use? Can you recommend anything for my hair? I’m trying to go natural.”
“I need help with my hair. Can you help me?”
“How much do you spend on products?”
When you color your hair….
You’re not natural anymore! Natural is when you don’t put anything in your hair! No chemicals.” Girl, shampoo is chemical, shut up.
“You do realize that your hair is going to fall out.”
“If you bleached your hair, you aren’t natural anymore.”
I think they missed the definition of “going natural.” It means to go back to your original hair texture. You know, the texture that grows out of your scalp? Okay.
Then I would get….
I wish I could go natural, but I’m scared. My hair won’t look like yours. My hair too peasy. “I don’t think I could cut all my hair off like you did. I’m not that bold.”
“Can I touch your hair? (you politely decline) “Why can’t I touch it? You have a problem with people touching your hair? Why you gotta act like that? Its just hair, it ain’t all that. You’re not the only one that got natural hair.”
“She think she all that because her hair long and curly.”
“Now that your hair looks longer are you going to put a relaxer in it? Will you blow it out to see how long it really is?” (You tell them you’re never getting a relaxer and you have no plans to straighten i anytime soon just to satisfy their curiosity) “So you’re not going to straighten it?”
I’m sure you’ve experienced more than I did or even worse than me, but the one thing that I loved about myself throughout this entire journey since 2009, is that I stayed true to myself and I didn’t let anyone affect me because I knew that one day, I would see them trying to do what I did years ago and you know what? THEY DID! How bout that?
Although I’m glad that we are finally embracing our natural hair, but if you were ever one of those (points above to the comments I wrote earlier), shame on you. God made us beautiful and our hair beautiful. Those comments gave me so much confidence and I was feeling myself even on bad hair days! Let’s talk about it! What’s your favorite/worse comment you endured whilst being natural?
curlswithstyle.com 
I went natural in 2009 also. And the questions and advice especially the advice 😔. I thank God it is more mainstream now
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Lol I went through the exact same things and made a similar post. I’m currently in the awkward stage of growth and fighting to keep in moisture. That collage with all your different hairstyles is super cute tho! xoxo
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The awkward stage something I tell you!
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I’ve only recently returned to my natural state, my hair was relaxed the day I left my mother’s womb so I had to deal with those rude comments about how I look like a man pretty recently. I don’t care though and now people are too afraid to say anything. I could actually go out without unkempt hair and everyone would zip it.
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Okay!! People thought their rude comments would get me to fix my hair to their specifications…….not. 🙅🏽♀️
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Yes, It’s actually disrespectful😂
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These are some of the things I’ve heard:
-That’s that supa natural hair (I wore a twist out)
-“Hey Nappy” (my grandmother said this to me)
– someone from my friend circle with will flatter herself because she brags about how people have told her she has “good hair”, but will turn right around and say she don’t believe in it. How sway?
-same friend don’t believe in good hair and she talks about how her daughter also has this “good hair”
-The lady I mentioned above said,”does your hair even curl.” Wtf is that supposed to mean?! Of course it does. What’s even more embarrassing, our hair type mimic each other!
-I went to dinner and someone compared me with someone who didn’t even have the same hair type as me. They were trying to be funny because they started laughing and whispering. Ironically, our hair types weren’t even the same.
-how’d you get you hair like that (this was when my hair was laid down). I could be overlooking this, but it’s because of who and what they intended it to mean. Like because my hair is kinky it can’t lay down like yours. People really need to educate themselves because they truly look ignorant.
It’s funny because the same people that have made smart remarks like this to me are the same ones asking how I grew my hair so long. I think the thing that pisses me off the most is the hate comments mostly come from people that look like me. Self hate is so real. Just like you mentioned, I’ve gotten most hate from family and friends too! If I ever have kids I’ll teach them to love their hair. It’s just scary trying to protect them from societies view.
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My head hurts!! It just baffles me the things people say. I have a 9 month old daughter and I know I’ll have to teach her to love their hair and not pay attention to ignorant comments. That grandma comment took me out! Grandma’s are the worse with our natural hair
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