Happy 2019! We’re finally getting to the end of the first month of the year and I hope you have your goals and plans ready. I’m still working finalizing mine in a few days, but nevertheless, I hope you’ve gotten started at least! So, I was sitting at work looking at my Snapchat memories, and I noticed a photo a year from today I took, mainly focusing on my hair. I compared it to a snap I just took not minutes before and noticed some growth. I was impressed. The reason why I was impressed is because 2018 has been a very stressful year for me and I noticed my hair suffered from it. I had to trim very often, my hair was shedding more than usual, and my curls looked lifeless more days than I liked.
Regardless, I kept protecting, nursing, leaving the heat alone, instead of the alternative; cutting my hair off. And I must say, I’m very pleased with my progress! I also noticed, that my hair shrinks soooooo bad! But you know, the more shrinkage, the more healthy. So let’s talk about the changes that happened to my hair this past year. So many events lead to stress. Stress led me to mostly a sedentary and depressing mindset that it was hard to focus. I learned my anemia played a role because I wasn’t taking my iron pills, plus I wasn’t exercising. Remember, sedentary. I was a zombie for the better half of 2018.
I didn’t stay there long and I’ve been making small strides to get back on the horse. In such a small amount of time I noticed, small strides really helped me and I’m bringing them with me.
Rice Water//I used rice water ONCE and I immediately saw a difference. My hair was softer, and there was minimal shedding. I wanted to try because i saw mixed reviews, but I can honestly say, its something I’m going to add to my regimen this year.
More protective styles// I stand by this. This works. Less manipulation promotes growth, with the RIGHT protective style and the RIGHT technique. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk about protective styling.
WIGS//You know?? I’ve NEVER tried a wig before. My mother in law kinda haste me when I told her I wanted to try them, but she doesn’t understand people who have beautiful hair wears them. Because I’m staying away from heat, I’ve been wanting to try a short straight bob, so stay tuned.
Professional trims//I normally do my own, but the last time I “trimmed” my hair, one side was longer than the other. There’s something invigorating when a professional cuts your hair.
More Protein Treatments//I can count on one hand how many times I’ve done last year and I realized I haven’t done enough. Most people can go every 6 months, but my hair desires it once every 3 months.
Workout Regimen/Iron Pills/////YEP! Hubby has already started helping me with a workout regimen to keep me consistent and motivated. Not only for the health of my hair but my body as well. We’ve learned that my body hates me if she doesn’t move. It will stiff like its no tomorrow and become sore. When I work out, the blood will flow and the oxygen levels will increase!
So comparing my regimen from last year, I’m pretty much doing the same, but I’m committing myself to including a healthier lifestyle including rice water and more protein treatments! I decided to do this instead of chopping it off like I normally do, since I know how to take care of my hair. So if you’re going through some tough time with your hair, lets add a new, different regimen to shake things up!
So a few months ago, I was strolling through Instagram and saw these videos and posts on “spring twists” and how they remind me of a natural version of kinky twists back during my high school days. However, the twists look identical to your natural hair when in mini twists, with hair that looks like natural hair. I thought, this is cute! When I first went natural, I lived in mini twists and although it was a great protective style, I wanted a fuller look. So, me being the detective that I am, I’m gonna research before I ask, because beauty and fashion gurus tend to posts the things they love or use and links if they’re really nice. For some reason, this chick didn’t. It was like, you can either buy the hair from me or pay me to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for charging what your worth, but there are people in this world that can do their own hair. As someone whose been doing their own hair for over 20 years, I started hunting! I looked on Pinterest, YouTube and Instagram hashtags only to find that this hair can be purchased not only from hair boutiques, but from Amazon. Yes! Amazon. I know Amazon can be a hit and miss with hair but I read reviews and saw photos and videos enough for me to purchase it.
As you can see, this brand has a 4.5 star rating! It comes in several colors and you can get yours right here. I purchased the 3 pack spring twist crochet hair in the color T1B27. And I ordered two packs. The brand is Beyond Beauty and they are $23.50 for each 3 pack. I bought two to be on the safe side.
Deets on the hair:
This is my first time buying from this brand and on amazon and this won’t be the last. I love this hair. It comes twisted so you can either crochet or do singles. I wanted to try color so I opted for an ombre effect, which I love. The hair is so springy and soft and can be easily separated. It has minimal shedding and doesn’t frizz or get tangled if you use water or hair products.
This hair blends perfectly with mine and IT DOES NOT ITCH! I normally soak all my hair in Apple Cider Vinegar/ water/ shampoo, but I didn’t have to for this and I have a sensitive scalp.
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES
I was able to use half of one bundle for the back because I separated the hair into two or three sections. When I realized that I would have more than enough and possibly leftover for another round, I use the whole pieces and realized that I only use an extra pack and three pieces from the 3rd pack. I decided to cut pieces in half to frame my face for a layer effect. I am very pleased with this hair and I hope you try it to. You can easily get away with just one pack. I will say, they are rather pricey (about $8/bundle) but it is worth every penny! You can also use this hair on your children!
If I could tell my younger self that I would be happily married at 32, I’m sure my younger self would roundhouse kick me like this:
I would never believe it. Not only that, but being married to someone younger than me? Who would have thought? So where do I start? How’s married life, Marisa? What are the pros and cons? What’s the tea? Well, what’s your tea about marriage? Let’s start off by me saying that my husband is an angel on earth. He is unlike any man I’ve ever encountered and is the most kindhearted person I’ve ever met. I say that a lot, but its true. 😎
Marriage is a lifelong journey, that’s not for the faint or weak hearted. Although I’ve embarked on 6 months, I’ve learned the true meaning of patience and grace, lol. Trust me, I’m still learning. And I’m ready to go another 6 months and so on! Talk to any married couple. They’ll say its hard work, but rewarding. Our favorite married couples happens to be my Bishop Barry Mitchell and his wife First Lady Janice, my uncle Bill and aunt Joan, our friends Pastor Theo and First Lady Patrice, my sister-in-law Kaycie and my big brother Jonathan and a plethora of other couples. We love taking advice from couples who give sound wisdom who doesn’t take sides. With that being said, there are sacrifices that we make for each other, a whole set of other feelings to consider, and someone who we can take on the world with, with God by our side. Yes, we’re a couple who believes and loves on JESUS and He is REQUIRED not only in our marriage but in our daily lives.
You know, I left home at 18, became completely domesticated and independent that I spend the next few years with this attitude that I didn’t need anyone, not even God. That’s how arrogant I was. I went though life and it completely changed me. I had to take care of myself, fend for myself because no one else would. I became tough and I looked at people like, “get over your feelings and keep moving.” I had no sympathy or empathy. Throughout that I learned quite a bit about finances, how to survive, how to live on my own, pay bills, etc. I was the epitome of self-sufficient. Sometimes, that can be a flaw too. If you’re like me, and you meet your future husband, its not his job to break that wall you build up. Its God’s job. And yours. “Well, that’s how I am and whoever marry me will have to put up with me.” LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! If you think like that, you will NEVER be married. Throw that arrogance away. Throw that mentality that you don’t need anyone. Get rid of the anti-sympathy. When you’re married, you’re no longer alone. I’m learning that.
I would not let Benjamin do anything. Take out the trash? I was doing that way before I met him. Putting the groceries in the house? I use to carry 20 bags of groceries up 6 flight of stairs. Pump gas? Move boxes? ANYTHING! I can do and therefore I didn’t need him. That puts a dent in your man’s confidence. To feel like you’re not needed? Then why get married? I had to learn to step back and let Benjamin take the lead. I didn’t have to do these things by myself! But as an independent woman, yes it can be difficult to relinquish control a little bit and give it to your husband. But the amount of weight that is lifted is like no other.
What about this whole wives submit to your husband?
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Ephesians 5:25 (KJV)
Guys, read that scripture. Our husbands should love US like Christ loved the church so much that he died for the church. Which means, Benjamin has to be good and ready to take a bullet for me. That’s a lot of love first of all. Submission, if you don’t understand, is yielding your will to your husband’s will. For example, I may want seafood for dinner but hubby wants steak, so we’re gonna go to Longhorn. But because my husband LOVES me so much, he’s gonna say, “babe, let’s get seafood!”
Benjamin is the head of the household. He is the leader and provider and I am his helpmate. For me, this is very challenging for someone who is use to complete control and makes the decisions. But I will tell you, it is refreshing for someone who you trust to make decisions that’s best for the both of you. Now that’s not to say that Benjamin doesn’t ask me my opinion because he does but I enjoy letting him take over.
Control your tongue
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)
We women, especially us black women , we are very sharp-tongue, vocal women. We say what we mean and mean what we say and sometimes the tone can go left-field. Our tone can be callous and harsh if we’re not careful. When we get upset, we say any and everything to our man, no matter hurtful it is. We may bring up the past, or break his confidence or just make him feel the lowest of the low. Men are very sensitive creatures. They may not act like it, but they are and we know how to hurt them. Therefore, we must be careful to their feelings. So when I’m angry, I stay quiet to refrain from saying something I may regret. I learn to speak life into my husband, speak positivity into our marriage.
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31: 11-12 (KJV)
I’m just gonna leave that right there guys. I learned to be a peacemaker in our home and marriage. I bring out his strengths, I pray to God to learn how I can help Benjamin where he’s weak, I don’t bring up his insecurities in his face and if I see a need, I fill it. After all, Benjamin is my #1 after my relationship with God. God is my super #1 because without him, I can’t be the wife I’m supposed to be.
I may have mentioned this in my wedding day post, but when I met Benjamin, I knew he was younger than me. We’re six years apart. There are some areas when I’m more experienced than he is and vice verse but one thing about my husband, is he’s willing to learn. Everything. And sometimes that can be challenging because the things he is trying to learn, I already know and sometimes in my mind I’m like…..”why can’t you get it.” But patience goes a long way and being with my husband has taught me to be more patient, kind and graceful. I learned to give him the benefit of the doubt and I make sure to acknowledge him for his great work.
We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions.
You ever got in an argument and someone did something to you and the first thing they say is “I didn’t mean it?” And then you say, “but you did it!” Yeah, that. “Honey, I was trying to get to the laundry but I couldn’t get to it.” For me, I had to take a step back and not judge Benjamin one-sided because if I intended to do something and I didn’t, would it be fair for him to be angry at me? Satan is always looking for ways to convince you that your spouse is terrible. But guess what? There’s this thing called grace that you have to give and to learn to let it go. After all, God gives us grace everyday, even when we don’t deserve it. Who am I that I don’t extend the same to my husband?
So…are they any cons?
Nope! There are no cons…just changes and challenges. Marriage is what you make it. If you want a peaceful and happy marriage, then you work towards it. Marriage is 100/100. You put your all into it. We stood before God, family, friends and a couple of people we don’t like and made promises to each other. Know that your spouse isn’t perfect, neither are you. And that’s okay! Some days they will disappoint you, upset you, do something you don’t like, but you make sure you know that communication is key. Talk about everything in a respectful manner. Have you seen the Red Table Talk with Will Smith? He and Jada mentions how important it is to be respectful and loving with your spouse and if you can’t at that moment, take a minute alone to get your act together. Your spouse doesn’t deserve your “wrath”.
Please understand that marriage is not perfect. Don’t marry a person thinking it’s going to be lollipops and candy canes and that it’s going to be sunny everyday. You’re going to struggle. Life will throw some stinking curve balls at you. You may be broke, your lights might cut off, your car may break down, you may have to live off ramen noodles for a couple of weeks. Guys, I knew Benjamin was really the one for me when we spent one evening on our honeymoon eating ramen noodles and hot dogs at the dinner table and we just talked nonstop. 😅😅
A wise human being told us, and I think it was our bishop, that it’s us versus the problem. You guys versus the devil. You and him versus them. Your spouse is above all, EXCEPT your relationship with God, okay? Know that your spouse comes before your mommy, ya daddy, ya siblings, ya friends, etc. If you have kids, even your kids. We learned that in counseling from a couple who has kids. Think of marriage as one of those big promises that you made to God that you can’t take back, until you die. Keep your marriage tight-knit, seek WISE counsel, and never invite strangers into your marriage, and that includes family. Never display your issues for the world and keep God smack dab in the middle!
I think I’m going to make this one of my lifestyle must haves on the blog because I ABSOLUTELY LOVE horror/slasher movies. I grew up watching them starting as a little girl (thanks Dad!) Its my brother Anthony and my favorite past time. We’ll watch anything scary, or not so scary that should be and have a great time. We always turn our noses to people who don’t like them (not really, but we giggle), and become excited when we do meet another human being that ,loves them too! So if you’re into these types of movies, check these out!
In theaters now…
I’m an AMC member and I’ve seen these movies and loved them. Hellfest is a complete slasher movie, so not much of a story line, but we love a good slasher. If you’ve been following The Conjuring or Annabelle, you would appreciate The Nun. Lots of jumpy scenes and there’s a little surprise at the end! Now I’ve been a Michael Myers fan since I was a little girl, and I wasn’t a huge fan of the Rob Zombie remakes, but this remake!! It is EVERYTHING guys!! Can we just acknowledge that this movie made over $70mil their first weekend, its the biggest horror movie opening with a female lead AND the female lead is over 55! And who doesn’t love Jamie Lee Curtis?? If you’ve seen the older Halloween movies especially the first one, you will be just as excited as I was!
oldies, but goodies...
These will have to be my main favs. I watch these all the time, including Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street. These are old school horror movies and they never get old.
If you have time to watch the entire collection...
The Haunting of Hill House
I’m sure you’ve heard, that The Haunting of Hill House is the “scariest Netflix series” out right now, but I’m still trying to find the “scariest” parts. It is indeed a good show. They are some moments that will make you jump and I love the flashbacks. The idea around it can be very scary. You have these kids that lives in this super haunted house that took their mother away from them, not to mention the things they’ve seen while they live there.
The weather is changing and fall is coming guys, so tell me why I can’t find anything plain and basic in my closet? During the transition period, I like to keep it simple sometimes and I also learned that basic pieces can not only help with transitioning summer to fall but can really put together a fall look too. But I was upset that I only had bright, colors, elevated patterns, funky textures,etc in my closet, I couldn’t make those look plain if I wanted to. If you’re anything like me,you need some basic pieces in your closets. So here’s what I’m shopping for this month.
Dark/Denim Jeans: I barely wear pants, let alone jeans, so I decided to indulge in the Girl With Curves x Lane Bryant collection and ordered the high waist skinny pant in black. They are so sexy looking and very versatile! In my opinion, they are the epitome of basic because they can be worn with anything.
Pleated Skirt-Although the pleated skirt trend is one of the trends this year, it can very well be a basic as it can pair with several things. I can see this worn with blouses, sweatshirts, and T-shirt’s. You can add flats, heels, or booties. This is one of my favorite colors for fall and if you like this skirt, get it here.
Light sweaters/Tee-shirts- I’ve noticed that I love to wear plain tees or plain shirts instead of tops that are full of ruffles, prints and etc, during transition, and Old Navy has my favorite tee shirts. These are also a great layering piece for when the days get colder. Layering will forever be style to emulate so its great to have light clothing.
Boyfriend Cardigan: I love cardigans to fit oversized. Pair it with skinny jeans and plain tee and some heels or booties, and I’m good here. If you’re feeling body conscious on crazy days, they are a great item to have. This cardigan is in my cart right now, and it also comes in a soft white color and it just LOOKS comfy and soft. Get yours here.
Fun fact: I have ONE pair of sneakers and they are worn out and I only wear them when I’m out walking. It’s a shame that I’m not a sneakerhead, and I haven’t been since 6th grade but I do plan to switch up a little bit when I want to be casual. ASOS has several Adidas that I have my eye on right now.
Other basics you can include in your closet are booties and JustFab will forever be my favorite place to find them. They come in various styles, heel height and colors. They have yet to grasp the rider boots for real plus size legs. For that, Torrid will be my #1 place for rider boots because their boots really fit a plus size leg and I appreciate that. Of course you have your trusty scarves that can be worn various ways. For me, I wear them as a turban on bad hair days, or even days when I don’t want my hair exposed to the weather.
What are some basics that you’re picking up for fall?